In the Hand of God
Tomorrow is the first day of March. Those who know me well know that March is a tough month for me. Most of the toughest and life-changing moments happened during the last two weeks of March. It has been said that the weather in March either comes in as a lion or a lamb and then exits as the other. It has been my experience that emotionally March tends to come in as a lamb and exit as a lion.
Sometimes life is just hard. For some reason it seems that March has been especially hard for my side of the family. My uncle whom I adored passed away on March 20 from lung cancer. My aunt, his sister, passed away from pneumonia on March 28 several years later. I was standing by my grandfather's bedside when he passed away on March 27, 2013. March has brought scares of possible cancer, hospital tests, and impending surgery for my daughter. March can be life changing. March brought the experience of my first flight, my first delivery of a eulogy, and my first real experience hearing God's voice. March has birthed dreams for my life and brought brokenness to my heart.
And so tomorrow, I head into March again.
It would be easy to fear March. There is an unspoken revelation that comes when the calendar changes dates and reminds you what anniversary is marked by this day. Little reminders of what you've lost. Tiny glimpses of what you once took for granted and now your heart aches to return there if even for just one day. Painful reflections on where you failed. They all wait for you like snares to trap you into wasting more time, losing more moments, adding more failure.
But then you're reminded of the other side of those memories. The wonderful opportunity you had to love those family members. The awesome memories of soaring through the clouds with your husband and children to go to your favorite place. Those bike rides and late night board games with your uncle. The way your aunt could make you laugh. The reverence you felt when your grandfather's spirit left the room and the smiles that came despite the tears as you delivered his eulogy. The news that your daughter didn't have cancer. And the most life changing dream you would ever dream that continues to open doors you never thought to enter.
And then you're reminded Who you know. You know the Lion of the tribe of Judah. You know the Lamb of God. You have witnessed with your own life the power and the fierceness of the Lion. You have rested in His strength and you have watched Him protect you by His power. You have been to the cross where the Lamb went to be slaughtered, and you have been washed in His blood.
And so you know that this March may bring its own trials and tribulations, but you also know that whether it blows in as a Lamb or as a Lion makes little difference because your life has been washed in the blood of the Lamb. You don't have to worry about how little strength you have because your power comes from the Lion of Judah. My prayer is that I learn from what I've lost and like them leave a legacy, for they too knew the Lion and the Lamb.
Just as March brings the renewal of spring, may it bring forth revival and renewal in me and those around me. For March is also the birth of a calling from the Lion to tell others about the Lamb. And so, here am I, send me.