In the Hand of God |
In the Hand of God |
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. Psalms 107:23-14 KJV
As I begin this week, I can't help but remember that dream in March 2013, and see that frightened Jesus girl standing in that doorway with white knuckles desperately holding to the door's frame. I heard the voice of God that night telling me to jump, and I told Him no because I was terrified of free falling. Oh what that girl has learned since then. He has taught me to jump. Much like a small child in a pool, He taught me to jump and have Him catch me in midair before I ever hit the water. After awhile He taught me to jump and didn't catch me until I had broken the surface of the water. Eventually I learned to jump from the high dive knowing all the time that He was waiting below to catch me. I have now learned how to dive in deeper waters. He no longer leads me to the clear clean waters of the pool, but now He takes me to the pier and teaches me to jump into the murky waters of the deep. He has taught me to leave the shoreline, although still in sight, and swim among the depths where the sharks sometime abide. He has shown me the reefs and the beauty found only in deep water. This week I will leave the shore behind completely and travel where there is no land in sight. I will learn to sail into uncharted waters with other boats whose sails have brought them to the deep. This week when He calls to me to jump it will be different. That Jesus girl isn't afraid anymore. She has learned to jump without fear into the darkest depths. She has found Him who created the deep to be faithful. This week when He beckons her to jump, she will not only jump, but dive. In teaching her to jump without fear of free falling, He also taught her to fall freely in love in Him, and perfect Love casts out all fear.. Oh how much that Jesus girl has learned, and this is only the beginning.
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"Deep calls unto deep at the noise of your waterfalls, all Your waves and billows have gone over me.." Psalm 42:7 NKJV Well, it is harder than I thought it would be, this journey. It's pretty dark right now and the shadows are dancing on the walls teasing and mocking. The storm is continuous and the winds are strong. The waves could overtake me here at any minute. I am worn. But as I sit here I can't help thinking that you can't have a shadow unless there's light somewhere. So I'm looking hard for the light howbeit weak and hard to see. I try to concentrate on the light instead of the ...storm and faintly I hear Him. That voice. The One I love. My brain tells me how to stop these storms. It tells me how to reside in shallow still water where people are content to stick their toes in the sand and let the waves roll over their ankles. My brain begs me to relocate to a nice cabana in the sand with the rest of the happy families. It pleads with me to give my family the chance to just enjoy the fun that lies on the beach. All I have to do is stop swimming in the deep. I need to turn in the wetsuit and googles for a beach chair and an umbrella. And I know it's true....my family longs to just play on the beach with everyone else. But I am what stops them. I am the one with the problem. I so love the beach, the sandcastles, the picnic lunches. Part of me longs to just sit in a chair and watch the water creep slowly over my feet. I truly want so bad to let them play here...to fit in, to find peace. But I have tasted the deep water where the current is almost overwhelming at times. I have seen what lies in the ocean depths. I met Someone there who taught me how to see the beauty of the reefs and depths that you miss on the sandy beach. I have fallen in love with Him. I want to be in His presence even if it means swimming in the deep. But I love my family and they have a right to just enjoy the beach and fit in with everybody else. And so my heart struggles to find a way to allow my family to have the chance to soak up the sun and build sandcastles with the others while I learn to snorkel in the depths. That chair would be so much easier, but learning from Him here in the waves....there are no words. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor' He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set a liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord." - Luke 4:18-9 NKJV
So God, I've been caught in a constant barrage of You being pictured as a judge with a huge gavel throwing out judgments in the form of carefully chosen Bible verses until I have almost forgotten what You really are like. I'm afraid we, as Your ambassadors to this world, are failing You miserably. We are so consumed with fighting for what is right that we have started portraying You all wrong. We've taken Jesus and wrapped Him up in scripture taken completely out of context and set about to shove Him down the throats of anyone who doesn't look like us or act like us. No offense God, but Jesus is a little hard to swallow when he's being shoved down your throat. So I thought that somewhere in my mind I remember being called to act like my Big Brother. It's funny because I always thought He was the kind of guy who loved everyone enough to die for them. I remember stories of how He chose to spend His last three years here....stories of a woman caught in adultery that He forgave while the righteous sought to stone her. I remember Him seeking out a woman at a well whom society dictated that He not be near, and yet He chose her to ask a drink from, and more importantly a divine appointment to secure her eternity He knew she would be there, that's why He came. I remember the story of when He got out of the boat to meet the man who lived among the tombs who was possessed of a demon. He sought him out and healed him, giving him freedom from his demented state. You know God, the way we portray Your Son, one would think that He came to dress in royal robes and sit on a throne pointing out everyone's sins, because let's face it, He had a right to. But that isn't what He did at all. He didn't go around quoting scripture about destructions and abominations to everyone He met. He loved them and pointed them to His Dad. So God, I thought I would spend some time with my Big Brother's mission statement in order to help me form one of my own Of course just like You have mine, You wrote His long before Luke 4:16-21. When He picked up the book, He knew what had been penned about Him long before in Isaiah, and yet He wanted to introduce His purpose and the focus of His ministry. I'm pretty sure it should be our focus too. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor' He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set a liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord." - Luke 4:18-9 NKJV So Jesus appeared to be about preaching, healing, and freeing. Preaching to the poor, those who hoped in God despite their current situation. Notice it wasn't every day in the synagogue and temple to the religious. A "go and tell" ministry rather than a "come and see". He wanted to heal the brokenhearted, those who are discouraged. He came to free those held captive to sin. He came to bring a promise of a chance for a new beginning. He didn't come to accuse or stone. He didn't come to tell how right He was and how wrong the rest of us are. He came on a mission to tell others about His Dad, and to love them enough to make a way for them to get to Him. So if we are to be like Him, how would it look? Would we take the time to build relationships like He did? Would we be purposeful in seeking out those who are broken and captive? What would that look like? Could it be that instead of judging the alcoholic and avoiding him, that instead we would learn that his daughter died in a tragic car accident and his wife suffers from depression? Could it be that instead of judging the woman who is in multiple relationships, that we realize that her father never wanted her and she longs to be loved like he should have? Could it be that we recognize that a large percentage of homosexuals were sexually abused as children by same sex perpetrators being taught at too early of an age to associate sexual pleasure with someone of the same sex. Maybe it was because someone of the opposite sex was so abusive that it drove them to fear men or women in relationships.. Maybe instead of using someone as an object for a lesson, maybe we could see their pain. Maybe we could be like Jesus and set about to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty from the chains of sin, to set about to heal rather than persecute. Maybe just maybe if they know we care, maybe they would care about what we know. Maybe if we loved them first, we could get the chance to introduce Me and Annie are prob just gonna stay home. Me and him are going to Knoxville tomorrow. to our Dad. So God, please teach me to be like Christ and not like Christians In the words of Ghandi, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." |
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