I am so frustrated. Sometimes I look around me and I just want to scream. How does it get this messed up? I know that You are in control of it all, but sometimes it is so hard to believe it.
I am frustrated with a system that doesn't protect the children that it's supposed to protect. I am frustrated with parents who are so selfish that they neglect the children that they brought into this world because they focus only on themselves. I am frustrated with parents who allow drugs, alcohol, and sex to become more important than the little people that they have helped to create.
I am frustrated with people who hurt kids either physically, sexually, or mentally. I am frustrated that these people are given opportunity to harm these kids in irreparable ways and more often than not to get away with it. I am frustrated with a society that doesn't want to address the problem or even discuss it because it's uncomfortable.
I am frustrated with people who ruin other people's lives by the choices that they make. I am frustrated with spouses who selfishly destroy marriages and homes out of nothing less than selfishness. I am frustrated with people who turn to drugs and alcohol and out of desperation for their next fix end up hurting or stealing from others.
I am frustrated with my country and where we have gotten ourselves. I am frustrated that men and women gave their lives for a cause they believed in only for us to become a country that believes in nothing.
I am frustrated with the Church. I am frustrated that we have become distributors of judgment rather than givers of grace. I am frustrated that we spend more time trying to be like other Christians than we do trying to be like Christ. I am frustrated that we have been adopted into a family where grace abounds, and yet we don't want to extend that grace ourselves or make sure others have the opportunity to be adopted as well. I am frustrated that we have been loved with so great a love just as we were and yet we aren't willing to love people who don't look like us, dress like us, believe like us, or live like us. I am frustrated that we have come to view ourselves more holy than the Holy One. For He gave love regardless and yet our love comes draped with stipulations.
But God, there is something that frustrates me more than all these things. I am frustrated with a girl who says she loves You and yet she doesn't do what you've asked her to do. I am frustrated with a girl who You have delivered from the darkest deepest waters, and yet she isn't following her calling. I am frustrated with a girl who has had an incredible opportunity to know You in a way more intimate than most may ever know You, and yet she isn't screaming about Your love from the mountaintops and the valleys. I am frustrated with a girl who knows that You are the most incredibly loving and amazing Father, and yet she finds excuses not to write her blog. I am frustrated with a girl who You've called to do all those things....a girl who said she wanted to be an Esther...a girl who You've asked to do hard things because You wanted to grow her...and yet for all her faith she claims to have, she won't step out and go.
So God, would You help her? Would You allow her to see that maybe if she would do what You've called her to do, then maybe the other things that frustrate her would get better because she was making a difference. Could You keep reminding her that You gave her a story that fits into Your story? A story that You've asked her to share. God, would You please remind her that those other voices that she hears do not matter and that she only needs to listen to that still, small voice and nothing else? Because I know her and she really wants to do what You want her to...it's just that sometimes she is so overwhelmed by the storm that she forgets to listen for that quiet whisper. Please don't give up on her because she's trying so hard to prepare herself to do those things You've given her to dream.